This post was written originally the day after my older son and middle child’s 18th birthday. Seems like only yesterday, yet a 100 years ago as well.
Having raised a daughter already, I thought boys wouldn’t be that different. However, after much soul-searching, I’ve realized the rules and expectations really are worlds apart! Here are my top 15 house rules when dealing with sons….
15. Having a few friends over for girls means 2 -4 girls will be over. Having a few friends over for guys means most of the 12 grade. And they’re hungry. And will most likely stay for 3 days or until the food runs out.
14. All directions must be very detailed, as it is clear that the older they get, the more brain-damaged they become. For example, tell your daughter to clean her room, and it’s pretty certain that it will be somewhat cleaned. However, tell a boy the same thing, and you will likely hear “But you didn’t tell me to pick up the cups/plates/utensils/trash/dirty underwear/moldy pizza box!”
13. Little boys can be placed into a car seat perfectly clean. However, when removing them upon reaching your destination, they will be dirty. Dirt level increases in direct proportion to the importance of them being clean when you get there….
12. Boys are capable of feeding themselves, regardless of how much they claim to need your help fixing a bowl of cereal. To prove it, set up a video camera after midnight in the kitchen.
11. Boys are noisy. Even when they’re trying to sneak in the house, they’re loud. If your boys are quiet, they aren’t home.
10. LIFT THE LID! You know, I’ve come to understand that nothing bad will happen if you don’t put the seat back down, but bad things will happen to you if you don’t lift it to begin with!
9. The dryer is not to be used to coax another week out of your clothes before washing.
8. You have 2 clothes baskets: one for dirty, and one for clean. Don’t confuse the two. I will not wash clothes that are still folded.
7. The house isn’t that big…there is no need to leave a trail of your socks, shoes, and shorts lying around to help you find your way from room to room.
6. Do not steal my shampoo/body wash/deodorant because you’ve run out, then complain that you smell “girly”.
5. When I go grocery shopping, I do so for 2 weeks at a time. It is not a challenge to you and your friends to see how quickly you can eat all the food!
4. The microwave is not a mini-refrigerator, neither is the oven. Please do not stash food in there for later. You also are not kin to a squirrel.
3. When using the oven, please check inside it first in case someone forgot about rule #4.
2. We have a front and back door. There is no need to climb through the second floor bathroom window just because you can.
and my number #1 rule for dealing with boys….
1. Just because you have the “What?” gene does not mean that you have to say “What?” after everything I say, then immediately answer the question/respond anyway…you heard me the first time!!