Word Press has a great challenge going for writers that encourages us to write daily or weekly, and to share some of the experience with each other and readers at large. I felt compelled to respond to this one http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/writers-block-party/
I hit the mother of all writer’s blocks about five years ago, then again a year ago. I knew exactly what triggered it…just stopped the words in their tracks….it was the realization that my marriage was over. Kaput. It ceased to be. It was an “ex” marriage. The realization just took the wind out of my sails and the words out of my heart; it took every ounce of energy I had to keep up with breathing in and breathing out in a rhythm conducive to staying conscious. I struggled daily..shoot, hourly at times, with just accepting that I had done the best I knew how, but it just wasn’t enough.
But in January of this year, after loads of therapy and healing, and feeling pretty okay with myself and thinking the marriage was actually on the mend, I learned, that the marriage was in fact. finito. Finally. There was no crying, just a matter of fact announcement on my part of, “Enough. I’m done.” It took about a month, but I let go of my frustration and anger in the instant that I decided to forgive my ex, and suddenly, as if getting drenched by a car flying through a puddle when you’re standing on the sidewalk, the words came…and came, and came, and haven’t stopped coming.
I don’t think I actually “did” anything to make this happen. I didn’t decide to sit in front of the computer and write. I didn’t promise myself to write about one topic or another. Instead, I just sat back, opened the laptop, and let the words and emotions flow to the screen. At times, it was an obsession, and I wrote to the exclusion of sleeping or eating, but it was as necessary to my being as either of those. Now I’m faced with the scariest challenge of my life so far, but I’m trying to keep it in perspective. Whatever happens, I know I will get through it through writing and with the support of my partner.
..which has now just prompted a thought for another post…..